Anyone who knows me can testify that I have some control issues. Some might say I'm a bit anal about things. Heck, some might say I'm downright OCD. I'll admit it. I like to have my house and my life in order. At all times if possible.
That's why yesterday was so completely out of character for me. As I put Marissa in her high chair, it suddenly occured to me that while I don't want her to grow up too fast, I do need to let her do more experimenting and experiencing for herself. The experiment of choice today started with oatmeal. I made it thicker than normal, mixed in the fruit and put the bowl in front of my waiting daughter. Then I handed her the spoon. She looked confused, but then she started to explore. The next 20 minutes were filled with smiles, giggles and lots of fun. And Marissa had a good time too.
Suddenly, I felt the world changing. I made a few adjustments in the kitchen and then felt brave enough to open up the gate that had been confining Marissa to the living room only. Now she had run of the entire living room and kitchen--double the space. Again, she seemed puzzled, but started to enjoy it.
When we went to the store, she wore her new shoes and I let her drink a sippy cup while riding in the cart. Sheer madness I tell you!
I know to many people these changes may not sound like such a big deal, but to me they are life-changing, for my daughter and myself. She has more latitude to play, learn and grow. I have allowed myself to let go. It's about time some would say. I never knew that I could feel this free.